Hi Unknown someone
I have a feeling you are out there somewhere. I don’t see you on those long drives where you are supposed to magically turn up even though you aren’t actually there. You don’t interrupt my conversations by romantically appearing in my head. You don’t sing and dance. You are just there, somewhere, unknown and convinced that you aren’t finding love anytime soon. But I know you, I know you very well. I promise I will surprise you in the next few minutes because I will get very specific in the way I describe you. You will wonder how I have known you this well. I am the one in your head.
You are sitting somewhere right now reading this and wondering why these words worry you. You weren’t planning to read it but, well, force of habit. You are probably choosing this over a bowl of ice cream, a cheese crust pizza, a cup of coffee on the terrace or the first few minutes of a movie. You prefer waking up next to a book than me right now but you wish that time could fly into the past or the future, and i’m right there. You wish me well from a distance not coz you are far but coz you wish you could be closer. You take those walks all alone and you don’t even know why you enjoy them. You don’t necessarily think of me but you still end up smiling because you know i’m capable of a joke or two. Or you already know it. When you fight with me, you don’t storm away, you take little angry steps when you walk away because you know I will find that cute. You know I cannot stay to angry at looking at you walk away in a collective huff. I know you know that i’m not going to be the kind that will hold your hand during a movie. I’m pretty sure you would rather lick the cheese off my popcorn stained fingers or be hunched forwards lost in the movie. You cannot possibly choose that numbskull who buys you a drink at the bar. I’m the one who is going to force a waiter to get you that mind blowing mix of coconut chutney and gunpowder. Ya, that’s what I will send your table at that roadside Udupi restaurant. Dig that girl!
We surely won’t set balloons and birds free. We will drink and dance late into the night all by ourselves, only to wake up hungover in a house which isn’t ours and in a city that we don’t belong to. We won’t travel the world, we will just unravel all its mysteries. No picnics by the river, just long and painful runs at altitudes that will get us panting like we will in bed later that night. There will be no moment that shall be dull and the ones that will be quiet, we shall savor, but not looking into each others eyes but by finding that passage from a chapter in that book you will be reading. You won’t read it out to me, but you will just fold the end of the page and ask me to read it later. You will not be bothered if I will read it or not because you know that later that night, while you make me the strongest cup of filter coffee, I will recite those lines for you. And I will recite them not because those lines are from a soppy book about the vicissitudes of love, but because it inspires you and you know that they will move me. We won’t change cities and homes because of work but only because we have lived them and don’t want to settle. You will love me not because I can read your mind, but because I find it so hard to. And you will enjoy uncovering the little sub-plots that seem to make me, and every time you discover a bit more about me you will rejoice in silent victory. Rejoice with a few tears which you won’t want to share with me because you’ll know that our victories and our digressions are for us to reconcile with. And that every time I come to you and admit i’m sad, i’m not looking for comfort but i’m surrendering to your greater wisdom in that time. Because for those few moments i’m not vulnerable but I need an able guide who will walk me through it. And I promise when we get to the other side of that arduous journey, everything will be fine again. I will be renewed and you will have a new ‘me’ to uncover. I may let you down but I will never stop keeping you on your toes. I wouldn’t expect anything different from you.
We won’t go quietly into the sunset darling. We will bring the roof down, we will also silently tiptoe into lives we never knew we could lead. Make the mistake, learn and I promise we will make more mistakes after that. And I just know that you will love it because every time we fall, we will fall together, gather some steam, get right back up and get going. I won’t promise to walk right by you because i’m hoping we are always out-running, out-thinking each other. Every step, every day, we will always be together and mad. We will conquer the world one at a time and together.
So don’t expect me to just love you. I will for every day that we are together, challenge the life out of you. Game on darling. This is going to be fun 🙂
Certain someone you’ll meet soon