In essence life is all about making sense of it, crawling out of bed and going all carpe diem on it. All guns blazing to try and find meaning and helping that restless soul find its deliverance.
Funnily I was on that very exact path. I had begun to find my way in the dark, the flashlight was brightening up the road. The elements that made life worth living held me in the same light. And then the illusion began or quite morbidly, ended.
Resurrection is truly the greatest challenge of all, ask a quarter of the world’s population and they will tell you. But my challenge was to resurrect a heart refusing to beat for what it so readily did before. Make that my challenge ‘is’, to do the unsavory task above. I wake up to empty promises made by my mind..
Hey so let’s work a way by which a return to life won’t be as painful..So hey any ideas?
Ya how about a mind trick? Hmmm well I have been there before, life full of them ain’t they?
Ok but it isn’t an everyday one, its one of those that will break your heart..
Yup but been there before na..
Yes very much, so not sure you wanna live through that again.
Exactly my point..
What would that be?
Its a mind trick..it ain’t gonna last, its just a room in my head that will be enveloped with all that makes me sad and then sucked empty.
Ha ha yes, its a trick…..
So there you have your mind figure out something as delusional as that. Then the emptiness begins to seep in. You have your Ripleys moment of infallible morose and then your Jack the Ripper instance of fuck it all..
Then you wake up with all that promise and man, what a bloody joke!! So I decide to play along with the trick which promises to help me detach and move on ala ‘get ur ass moving’ kind. And then it begins..back where I promised I will belong, back where I decided to put it all on the line, back where its just a wannabe heaven burning away to hell, back where its never gonna be the same again..
Back there, desperately trying to make sense..