Do you have a rage within you? Does it destroy you or egg you on? Does your rage have a character, a little bit of revolution or is it placid and dull? Does it help you conquer?
The answers to the above questions will help you define your rage. Not the rage that we feel when we see injustice done against you or someone else on a day to day basis. I’m talking of the one rage that drives you, everyday. The rage governed by your meddlesome ego. The question is, how do you channel that rage?
Before I get into the record books for using the word ‘rage’ way too much, let me introduce you to, well, my rage. My rage is triggered off by a car. A car made by a certain manufacturer, the details of which manufacturer and why it angers me I will not go into, because that is not the point of this blog. I see this car everyday when I’m on the road; sometimes I see it many times. It was always a brand I wanted to own and it burned in me, like a deep dark desire. Always wondered when I would have enough to walk into one of their showrooms and pick it up and feel the metal and rubber, that perfect combination of power and style. It really was my material crush. But it all went wrong one day and it became my rage. I am filled with instant fury (finally a different word) when I see one of them on the road now. It reminds me of who I am, what I have become and how far I am from becoming the bigger man. It questions my self-worth and my true belief in myself. And funnily it has nothing to do with the fact that I don’t have the money to buy it. Even more strangely, I know that the day I do have enough money, I will now choose not to buy it. Am I petty? Maybe I am. Maybe my rage will make you laugh but my rage makes me stronger. Initially when the rage began to descend it would only fill me with negativity and then that process began to mature. It was like a bottle of wine in the cellar. It just kept getting better with time. The rage sharpened, found a focus and now finds an outlet – in my life. I have learned to channel this rage.
Today I saw that car six times on my 20 minute ride to work and even though my rage was being tested beyond every measure of fairness, it spurred me on. It reminded me of my resolve to use this to my strength. Yes, it did involve some very unnecessary bursts of speed on my humble bike but it gave me enough impetus to keep steering towards my course. Where will this rage take me is anybody’s guess, but for now it gives my life all the meaning it currently boasts of possessing.
I see valor and vigor in my rage. Most importantly, I see a better man at the end of that rage. If you do not agree with me then feel free to share your careful views but let us agree to disagree right now, because I just have one questions for you..
Do you have a rage within?