I am unfortunately living in a time in my life where the coincidences and irony of everything seems to become very evident. This was meant to be a blog post professing my love to many things but after an entire day spent in deep, and sometimes mindless contemplation, I have reached a not so startling conclusion.
I need to learn to deal with randomness!
In the last week, I spent an hour talking about my fears of flying to friends, only to hear news of a plane being shot down the moment we suspended that conversation. I stood under my fan this morning and screamed at it to come on during a power cut, and it obliged. I smiled at a girl and she smiled back. I said a whole bunch of things over a three day period that I couldn’t believe were coming out of my mouth.
Much more accomplished writers and thinkers than me have captured the whole ‘turning the corner’ state of being and affairs much better than me and I shall not even try and go down that path. But what seems to have occurred much like the weird set of circumstances that surrounded our PM”s set of cancelled meetings at the BRICS summit; I have no clue what is happening. And i’m pretty sure his staff felt the same. I feel a bit like him, I have no clue why I am where I am, but at the same time I know i’m way better than a few rejections from a few heads of state. Yup, don’t get confused, I didn’t get rejected by them.
I’m actually listening to this song, a friend of mine has sent me from many time zones away. I don’t know how but she nearly always gets the kind of music I will like. The funny part being, I myself cannot decide what kind of music I like. No, it isn’t a sign of greater deficiencies, it’s just a state I prefer existing in. Yes, that was a little random but that is a bit how life is right now.
So there is one huge focus point and a couple more secondary focus points. Is that a good balance? Should there be homogenity or should they share the burden of my focus? Heard of the Aum Shinrikyo? They were this radical Japanese outfit that had actually planned to blow up a part of Tokyo with a nuclear bomb which they tested by acquiring over 500 acres of wasteland in the West of Australia. What does that do for my state of mind and definition of focus? Jackshit!
In a part of the world not to far away, there are people contemplating the most horrendous muck up in aviation and geo-political history, there are two countries at war with the whole world divided yet careful about their views. There is a whole generation of people my age preparing for another long week ahead as we fight to remain relevant. There is also somebody looking forward to redefining their lives. People still waking up from last night’s hangover, some whose life has been stalled by a good book or by a bad memory. Someone is taking in a new chapter in their life and someone waiting to open that new book.
In every waking, and sometimes I suspect, sleeping moment of my life I deal with a level of randomness in thought and action that frightens me and at the same time shields me. It shields me from the nonsense that surrounds me, the death of memories and fuels my inspiration at times. It is a form of daily therapy. I suggest you get a dose of it.
Around me is a pan on which I will cook a couple of eggs, TV shows about badass consultants and a fuck up of a Vice President, a book about a missing girl and another with some abstract short stories. I have a ‘Pocket’full of articles to read, an early morning run to ponder about and a week ahead of defining work and in between it all I can’t stop thinking about a red velvet cupcake I can buy fifteen minutes away and a few decisions I took a couple of years ago.
Random! Yup, best (read: only) way to live your life.