When it’s time to make that big decision, the one that all the guys and even some of the girls willed you to never take. The one mistake they nearly made you believe was a mistake. When it’s time to take that call and ask that question, don’t forget a few things you may never have been taught. When you decide to cancel the noise, turn the volume down and focus on getting your thoughts lined up. When your heart starts pumping instead of beating and it all begins to go really loud in the head and all the noise begins to get drowned out by this surreal moment of selfishness and selflessness all mixed up in this crazy cocktail of so many emotions you have never dealt with before..Hold back! Take a pause and just allow these thoughts to flow through..
Marry her if she makes you happy. Simple. No, ok, marry her if you know you can make her happy. Not the kind of happy that is deserving of mentions of your chivalry at cocktail parties but the kind that will get you ‘thank yous’ in whispers in the middle of the night while you are oblivious to the world. Happy isn’t a song, or maybe it is, but it isn’t the kind you can serenade her with, it’s the album you will need to start producing right now!
Marry her if you challenge her. But, wait, challenge her? Get ready to be challenged young man. You aren’t going to challenge her because the thought that you will be deserving enough of her gratitude because of your intelligence is a suggestion of your lack of it. Get ready for a lifetime of conundrums and emotions that you better wake up to. Not the silly and badly voiced concerns your friends have been talking about. Petty is a human quality and you have it too. I’m talking about challenges where real questions will be asked, honesty will be expected and don’t you dare look her in the eye and question her emotional state. She got it together long before you knew that you had to look her in the eyes, always. Your first job, your first presentation, your first call up to the team..These weren’t challenges. The first time she cuts through the bullshit and expects the truth, that, my boy, is the day you wake up to a real challenge.
Marry her only if you know what flowers she likes? My honest answer. If that’s what you are concerned about then listen to your friends and run away. She doesn’t care if you know her favourite flowers or perfume. I promise you! She wants you to discover her, understand what moves her and what changes her. Because she changes every day, for the better and for the worse. She will evolve faster than you, better than you and still work harder to change. Yes she thinks a lot but that is only because her mind doesn’t allow her to stay still. Shame on you for thinking that the ability to blank out is the best thing we were blessed with. She wants you to know what inspires her, what keeps her up at night and forces her to lose her temper unwittingly sometimes. She will need you to be able to move with her, possibly faster than her, if you can. I dare you, screw that, she dares you! And in the process if you get to know which flowers she likes, well, then good for you.
Marry her because she needs you. Yes she does. She surely does need you. But you ain’t her crutch, nor are you indispensable. Her life will not be built around you, instead you should be proud if her life is built on a faraway planet while you are constantly sending out probes to find her. If you need to work your ass off to discover a bit more about her every day, then man, you are blessed! You get a front row seat to the most amazing spectacle in the world. The ticket to watch her spread her wings and fly away because you were there, not because you ‘allowed’ her or ‘asked’ her to, but just because in your presence she felt the need to. Because in some way unknown to you, she found inspiration in you, and you did in her. Imagine that. Imagine being inspired by her every day and you both look at each other with the same awe and mystery. Every day!
Marry her because she loves your/a family. Why should she? Isn’t loving you enough? Do not mistake warmth, love and selflessness for the need to create more of it. What she has in her is infinite. Her love is endless and it doesn’t have to be divided and shared. She needs to want to be with the people you love which means you are not selling yourself, you are selling your world to her. Do not wait for the day after you marry her to introduce her to your world. And remember, your world isn’t your parents, siblings and your dog. It’s the place you work at, the desk you sit at, the cigarettes you may or may not smoke every night, the paths you run on, the playlists you listen to in the rain and in frustration, the ex girlfriends you messed up with, the schools you studied in and if possible the people who for even a few months in your life, changed you forever. Take her to these places and people, tell her your story, hell, sell her your story. Sell it like your life depends on it, because it does. Your story is on its way to getting better but if she doesn’t know where to put pen to paper, then you ain’t heading towards a bestseller. Get your notes together. Now!
You got it? The noise must be clearing. Now get down on your knees. And marry her..