So when did this song decide to join your playlist?
He sat with his back to me, facing the sunshine outside his window. And then he began to speak, for some reason he did not want me to follow him into this memory this time.
It all began on a dull monsoon morning. I had only fifteen minutes to get to college and waiting at the bus stop staring at the clock wasn’t reassuring. That’s when this song began on my ipod. Cars whizzed by, the bus came and went and people stared at me. I had walked away from that bus stop and found myself in the middle of the road. It was raining, I threw my bag off and I was on a terrace, six years later. Cigarette in my hand hiding under the miserly roof that just about kept my smoke dry. The voice on the song picks up and finds emotion and I was in a coffee shop looking at my friends with my girlfriend cuddled in my arms, while I could see the love of my life. She wasn’t in the same room but she was in the same moment. I saw a stage in Bangalore, with me lifting a trophy with me also holding up my hands, giving up as a 6 year old in my Karate class. All this in the same moment.
I looked at him intently and he was holding back his tears. He continued between sobs now.
Later that night I went home and I couldn’t get the song out of my head. It kept taking me to happy places and juxtaposing it with memories I wanted to erase. The song was on loop and as it began for the sixteenth time that evening, my mom came and hugged me and seeing my sweat, told me not to panic. There was this instant warmth and then I realized the song had done it again because as as she held me I saw images of that dull monsoon morning again. This time it wasn’t a bus stop with other passengers and as I began to cry they took my mother away.
She looked content..